Jaico Publishing House, Mumbai, 2010.
John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947) is an American author, speaker, and pastor who has written many books, primarily focusing on leadership. Titles include The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership and The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader: Becoming the Person Others Will Want to Follow. His books have sold millions of copies, with some on the New York Times Best Seller list. In "Everyone Communicates, Few Connect," Maxwell shares the Five Principles and Five Practices to develop the crucial skill of connecting in communication.
In first part, author talks about the influence that connecting can bring in the lives of the people who are trying to communicate with others. He says connecting can make you or break you; Connecting is key for leaders; Connecting is all about others; Adding value to people.
“If you first help people what they want, they will help you get what you want” (pg. 28).
Maturity is the ability to see and act on behalf of others (pg. 30).
Not to be self-centred but people-centred. Ego is root problem with the people who can’t connect with others. “More than 90% of impression, we often convey has nothing to do with what we actually say” (pg. 46). We live in a visual age; Connecting always requires energy, sharing own mistakes and failures. He talks about four unpardonable sins of a communicator; unprepared, uncommitted, uninterested and uncomfortable. This is the result of not putting enough energy.
For Maxwell, connecting is more of a skill than a natural talent. What makes people listen? It is communicator’s relationship, insights, success, ability, sacrifice. “Connecting is crucial whether you’re trying to lead a child or nation. (pg. 7). “Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influences with them. (pg. 4).
In part two, author deals with the connecting practices; He talks about the obstacles for establishing the common ground between communicator and listeners; assumption, arrogance, indifference, control. Then he asserts that the Connecting is a choice; availability, listening, questions, thoughtfulness, openness likeability, humility (self-criticism), adaptability. His Five Practices are Connectors; connect on common ground; do the difficult work of keeping it simple; create an experience everyone enjoys; inspire people; live what they communicate.
The most notable theme in the book is that the author Maxwell refutes the myth that identifying with others is an innate ability, but rather it’s a skill that one can develop by directing one's attention toward others and connecting enthusiastically with what others see, hear, feel, and understand. About 40% of this book is sensible and the other 60% is the 40% repeated so many times and could also be found in similar sort of writings. However, this book will definitely help readers to improve their communication skills. Whether one is a beginner looking for a place to start or a seasoned expert looking to sharpen his/her skills, he/she will find something that can be used to enhance the potentiality of communication.
In short, I truly appreciated the simplicity of the book. Maxwell really does have a gift for communicating effectively with simple language. Personally, this book has lead me to self assessment, thinking how I communicate to a large group in my own context. I find myself asking, is it about me or them. I especially appreciate the way he dealt with communication on three levels - one on one, groups and larger audiences. There's a lot of practical, common sense take away as well as many great illustrations and quotes. Not everything but most of its pages delivered solid, practical advices. Beside advises that Maxwell provides, his personal life examples and also others life-examples that he quotes are significantly more appealing. As a communicator, I strongly recommend this as a must read to anyone who wants to communicate effectively, which is pretty much everyone around us.
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