Recently I have been reading, “Why I forgive the Nazis who murdered my family: Eva Kor made it out of Auschwitz but her family was killed in the gas chambers. In a new documentary she explains why, despite protest from other Holocaust survivors, she has decided to forgive” and one of my friends asked me to write something about forgiveness while other friend was going through a hard time to forgive.
Forgiveness is central in Christian ethics and is a frequent topic in sermons and theological works. It is considered a duty of Christians to forgive unconditionally.
Despite the rejection by scholars like, Charles L. Griswold, Forgiveness: A Philosophical Exploration, traditional belief is being strongly endorsed by thinkers like Hannah Arendt that forgiveness is exclusively a Judeo-Christian as opposed to the pagan idea. In her book, The human condition, the German Jewish philosopher Hannah Arendt remarked that Jesus of Nazareth 'was the discoverer of the role of forgiveness in human affairs'. According to Arendt, we need forgiveness in human affairs for it is the remedy for the irreversibility of human action; it frees us from not being haunted and consequently paralysed by our past actions and it liberates us for future positive action.
She comments:
Without being forgiven, released from the consequences of what we have done, our capacity to act would, as it were, be confined to one single deed from which we can never recover; we would remain the victims of its consequences forever (Arendt 1998:237)
Christopher R. Allers, Marieke Smit (eds.) Forgiveness in Perspective, xiii
Forgiveness is a concept, a practice, and a claim made upon us that springs from the heritage of Abraham. While it may be true that sungnome in Plato and Aristotle may amount some type of proto-forgiveness or at least judicial pardon, it neither played significant role in their thought no did it as fecund as the forgiveness of the Judaeo-christian tradition.
Two types of forgiveness appear in the Bible: God's forgiveness of our sins, and our obligation to forgive others. This topic is so vital that our eternal destiny hangs on it. The Bible is one long story of how God reaches out to show His love and forgiveness to mankind. In Genesis 3:15 God gives His first promise of a Redeemer who would forgive the world of their sin. Bible encapsulates various stories demonstrating forgiveness.
Find out some time to read these:
- Jacob and Esau (Genesis 25, 27, 32, 33) Forgiveness Bible Story
- Joseph (Genesis 37-50) Forgiveness Among Brothers
- David and Mephibosheth (2 Samuel 9) Another Great Bible Story About Forgiveness
- Prodigal Son (Luke 15) Forgiving Bible Story Between A Father and a Son
- Woman Taken in Adultery (John 8) A Bible Story Where Jesus Examples Forgiveness
- Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35).
In the New Testament, Jesus speaks of the importance of Christians forgiving. Jesus used the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35) to say that we should forgive without parameters. The Story of the Prodigal Son is possibly the best known parable about forgiveness. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus frequently delivered talks on forgiveness, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." Matthew 5:7 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember…First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:23-24 "And when you stand praying…forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Mark 11:25 "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies…turn to him the other also." Luke 6:27-29 "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." Luke 6:36 "Do not judge…forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37. "Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." Matthew 18:21-22. "And Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.'" Jesus forgave His murderers Luke 23: 34.
Considering Mark 11:25 above, and Matthew 6:14–15, that follows the Lord's Prayer, "For if you don’t forgive men…your Father will not forgive your sins…" Forgiveness is not an option to a Christian, rather one must Forgive to be a Christian.
What forgiveness is not?
Forgiveness as such is (as with many other such value concepts) difficult to define, and McCullough and Witvliet (2005:447) go about the problem by firstly distinguishing it from other concepts, in other words, what forgiveness is not:
• It is not pardoning, which is a legal notion.
• It is not condoning, which validates the wrong done.
• It is not excusing, which holds that extenuating circumstances led to certain act.
• It is not forgetting, which infers the slipping out of memory.
• It is not denial, which relentlessly does not identify the wrongfulness of an act.
• It is not reconciliation, which denotes to the refurbishment of a wrecked rapport.
Forgiveness and Physical Health
Un-forgiveness is categorized in medical books as a disease. According to Dr. Steven Standiford, chief of surgery at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, refusing to forgive makes people sick and keeps them that way. With that in mind, forgiveness therapy is now being used to help treat diseases, such as cancer.
Robert Wuthnow, (2000-01-01). "How Religious Groups Promote Forgiving: A National Study", Survey data from 2000 revealed that 61% of contestants that were part of a small religious group informed that the group helped them be more forgiving. Individuals reported that their religion groups which encourage forgiveness was connected to self-reports of success in overcoming addictions, guilt, and perceiving encouragement when feeling dispirited.
According to a recent study in the Journal of Health Psychology, conducted by researchers from Luther College, the University of California, Davis and the University of California, Los Angeles, having the trait of forgiveness, unconventionally, foretells positive mental and physical health, In addition, researchers found that forgivingness seemed to protect against stress's negative effects on mental health.
A positive argument for the prospect for forgiveness in a broader political context is that its uttered and practised by Nelson Mandela, the former South African president, who in his own lifetime reached almost iconic eminence. The absence of bitterness and forgiving behaviour in his life after being released after 27 years in prison impressed especially whites in South Africa and backed much to the fact that they accepted and even flourished in the new political dispensation. When asked about his secret for forgiving, Mandela answered,
“If I had not forgiven I would still be in prison, and this life is too short to be bitter.”
Why People Can’t Forgive?
Once I said when demanded to forgive the one hurt me, "You don't know what he did to me! I just can't let it go, even though I know of forgiving!" I literally said this. But now I’m trying to change myself gradually. If this is your story as well, Dear, then you need to scan yourself closely as to why you would keep this lethal spiritual poison running through your veins. Here are five reasons why some people don’t:
- They don't value the relationship they are in.
- They are afraid to forgive because of the fear of called weak and powerless by others. This is the most common reason among those who have been hurt before.
- They won't forgive because arrogance keeps them away from finding place in God.
- They won't forgive because they don't recognize the harm it does to their spirit and body.
- They don’t forgive because power of sin stops them.
I have come across the situation where it becomes extremely difficult to forgive others especially when you are angry. Therefore, prime reason might be holding on to the anger that may be related with an occurrence or experience that causes us hurt, can lead to hate, and possibly a lingering want for revenge. This is vicious and causes an emotional drain on us even if we don’t apprehend it.
Dr. Michael Obsatz, in his book, Healing Our Anger: Seven Ways to Make Peace in a Hostile World indicates that there are eight types of anger (page 12). These include:
- • Chronic anger is an ongoing feeling of resentment toward others.
- • Volatile anger is explosive but comes and goes.
- • Judgmental anger comes across in hypercritical statements.
- • Passive anger is suppressed anger that is expressed indirectly.
- • Overwhelmed anger arises when people believe they cannot handle the complexity of their circumstances.
- • Retaliatory anger is specifically directed at another person or persons.
- • Self-inflicted anger is directed at ourselves.
- • Constructive anger is anger we put to positive uses.
With exception of this last type, most of these angers are destructive.
Forgiveness and Spiritual Health
Same as physical, un-forgiveness has fatal negative results for your spiritual health. Any believer in Christ who houses an unforgiving attitude is on unsafe ground. You may wonder how it can harm you. Bible tells us its fatal consequences.
- It calls the wrath of God and makes Him to hand you over to tormentors. Pro.11:21.
- It brings the fruit of evil deeds done to your offender upon you. Matt.18:30-34; Eccl.12:14.
- It averts you from being benefited from the cleansing power of Jesus. 1 Jn.1:7-9.
- It obstructs answers to prayer. Matt.6:15.
- It may restrict one to receive Christ's forgiveness.
These days a lot of people tend be much concerned about their physical health but very little care about spiritual health. Here is the warning for if you are that person. Spiritual ill-health will eventually result in temporary/eternal damnation.
Benefits of Forgiveness
Forgiving behavior can be extremely beneficial, only if one realizes. While it has many benefits, here, I would enlist a few:
- Keeps your heart healthy
Forgiveness is good for the heart, literally. One study proposes that people who hold on to grudges tend to have faster heart rates than those who are empathetic and able to forgive.
- Lowers stress levels
According to a study done by Hope College reseachers, one of the benefits of forgiveness is that it lesser the amount of cortisol. Researchers examined 71 partakers and their physical responses when they spoke about grudges as opposed to when they spoke about forgiveness and empathy. Those who displayed more forgiving outlooks had lower physiological stress responses.
- Lowers pain
Having a forgiving heart may lower both emotional and physical pain, according to a study done by Duke University Medical Center researchers. Out of 61 participants who suffered from chronic back pain, those who were more likely to forgive reported lower levels of pain. Thus there is a relationship that appears to exist between forgiveness and persistent pain.”
- Lowers blood pressure
Letting go of that anger you’ve been sheltering might lower your blood pressure. Studies show that forgiveness is linked to lower blood pressure.
- Restores a Healthy Relationship with Creator
Saints, we must understand this: the only person unforgiveness hurts is the unforgiver!!!
Forgiveness is an attribute of God that we are consistently taught in the Bible that we too can demonstrate to others. True forgiveness is easier said than done. It can be difficult, especially if someone really dismayed you in a way that opposed your values and morals. However, it’s quite essential to remember that holding that grudge is not going to fix anything. That hot coal you’re holding onto is just burning yourself and will eventually result in separation from Creator. Let's not forget we are forgiven to forgive.
In The Sunflower, Simon Wiesenthal writes of an incident that occurred during the time he was a concentration camp inmate. One day, he and his work detail were sent to clean medical waste at a converted army hospital for wounded German soldiers. As they worked, a nurse came up to Simon and asked, "Are you a Jew?" When he answered "Yes," she took him into the hospital building, to the bedside of Karl, a 21-year old dying Nazi soldier. This soldier tells the story of his part in killing millions of Jews is Nazi camps. And wanted forgiveness from a Jew before his spirit leaves his body. After narrating whole story, soldier begs for Simon’s forgiveness with tears so that he can die peacefully guiltless. However, Simon left the room without a word. When his group returned to the hospital the next day, the same nurse came to Simon and told him that Karl had died...more
Interesting stories of forgiveness:
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